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As a kid you learn to never judge a book by its cover. However, by the time we reach adulthood, it seems that’s all anyone is doing. It’s literally like a hunt for some rare artifact to find that diamond in the rough that shines the brightest.
By all accounts and purposes, someone can have the perfect cover – the right job, the appropriate social standing. It’s only after you invest time that you realize they’re not only miserable, but oh, say racist AF. (Case in point.) Their story is a muddy and distressing read. Most definitely not a book I can get into, much less read to the end.
I love how people who don’t even know me think they are giving me what is most certainly the best advice ever. (While judging someone else they also don’t know – and have literally never met – based on their outward appearance and nothing more.)
So when I was bombarded by men recently (who barely knew me) about a guy friend of a girl friend, I disregarded them entirely. The storyline for this book is a familiar one. They were interested in me but I, of course, wasn’t interested in them. The unsolicited advice about how this guy was bad news, however, was too difficult for them to pass up. They judged him based on his clothing alone, seemingly oblivious to their own shortfalls.
As it turned out, that person they thought so poorly of had a bachelors degree in Psychology. He was also a pescatarian, environmentally conscious and capable of super deep conversations. In the end, it turned out he wasn’t the trash they made him out to be at all. He was just super depressed.
We have a whole new generation now conditioned to swipe left or right based on looks. Filters to change our appearance to an ethereal stereotype of anti-aging perfection.
But in keeping up appearances, the person inside the outer shell gets lost in the shuffle where suddenly their entire lives is a series of practiced acts in a play for perfection so someone swipes right when it’s their turn to be under the spotlight.
I’m currently in the midst of writing a book. An underlying theme is that everyone is important because of who they are. Outwardly they may seem imperfect at first. However, regardless of how fucked up they may seem, they all matter to the story — and the lives of those around them — in some way, no matter how small. Even the vampire who just happens to be a ginger and loves the beach. And most especially the empath slinging drinks at the local bar.
As we head into the New Year, I hope you’ll take the time to remember to look beyond one’s outward appearance, and try to see who they are on the inside. Even if it just means reading someone’s actual dating profile.